


Surrender and Live

by Qirunwei



Category: Historical Criminals RPF, Thrill Me: The Leopold & Loeb Story - Dolginoff
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Babe has lots of feelings, Canonical Character Death, Dom/sub Undertones, Dysfunctional Relationships, Feelings, Hand Jobs, M/M, Missing Scene, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sexually Aggressive Babe, Smut, Top!Babe, Unrequited Love, bottom!Dickie, hinted more than anything, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 23:39:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8347309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qirunwei/pseuds/Qirunwei
Summary: The lean muscles on his back rippled and he turned around, glaring at me with red-rimmed eyes. They burnt with such fierceness that he looked the more beautiful because of it. In that split second I could see what life promised if Richard and I could just stick with each other. I could see our names written side by side: Leopold and Loeb, an entity that stops having meaning when either is missing. I could see us leading a truly superior life, inseparable and invincible. What I failed to see was that Dick could never truly devote himself to anyone, not even to me.





	

My hands were trembling. Both of us could see that clearly, but it did not diminish the weight of what I was about to do. A corner of the paper had curved slightly after being folded up. It was hard to believe that it had only been a few weeks since we signed it in blood. So soon, the perfect bond was fraying, and on the verge of snapping.

I had no idea whether I was bluffing, whether I would've really torn it apart and everything with it. But Richard had no choice but to compromise. He couldn't risk me pulling out, couldn't risk ruining his perfect plan, to which I had somehow become an indispensable part.

I did not fool myself that he felt for me to the extent that I felt for him. But in the role of accomplice I was unique. It was easy for him to seek out pleasure of the body, but to find someone he could rely on in a time of need (and verbally abuse in the meantime), that was difficult. Especially for Richard, who held little trust even for his family. I had often secretly prided myself for knowing his mind better than his brothers or his father. My devotion was something familiar and he had taken it for granted. The contract itself seems ridiculous when I think of it now. It held little legal significance. This fragile bond was based on my insecurity as much as his. Like the comfort of a pair of well-worn shoes or an old typewriter, both things he had grown accustomed to and was reluctant to replace. I was like that to him.

So the contract rested safely in my inner breast pocket, for the moment.

"I have shared in everything you have done, so don't you act-"

"Says the coward who dared to walk away. Now, don't you think a little punishment is in order?"

I knew that glint in his eyes well, so I made quick work of my jacket and hung it on the back of a chair. In the meantime, he had done the same and was making himself comfortable on the couch. I straddled his lap so I would not have to bend down and strain to undo his tie. Richard stared up at me with rare interest and I realised I was still wearing my reading glasses. He held my wrists. "No. Leave them."

"They're expensive. I don't want to break-"

"Screw your goddamn glasses!" His temper flared up and he forcefully pushed me down between his legs. Willingly, I went onto my knees and gazed up. His pupils were dilated as he divested of his tie and braces himself. I could barely look away. Since my obedience was not unknown to him, it must had been my disobedience that excited him.

So I took my time unbuttoning his dress pants and caressed the inside of his thighs with my cheeks. The material was smooth and did not scratch at all, and the warmth of the body seeped through easily. He was starting to burn, and so did I for weeks in expectation of this moment. When I had pulled the outer layer down to his knees, I looked up from above the lenses. For me it was a move to observe his reaction rather than to be coy or seductive, but he bit his bottom lip hard and turned his gaze away, as if he was aroused by the sight yet feared to be caught looking. I scratched the bulge in his underpants lightly and he gave a little gasp, to my satisfaction. I have a chance yet, I thought.

He was only half hard but sensitive. I knew I had to do this right in order to proceed to anything further tonight. He might have claimed to be tired, but I've peaked his interest somewhat unexpectedly. It would have been a shame to let the opportunity go to waste.

I did not fellate him straight away but instead slackened my jaw to collect some saliva and dripped it onto his half-clothed member. Some went onto the curly dark hair that was peeking out of the garment. Most soaked through the cotton, turning it slightly transparent. I mouthed and huffed at the bulge alternatively, teasing, knowing it would get on his nerves. Occasionally, a lick down the covered length would send a shudder through his hips. Not long before he was straining and breathing harshly, a broad hand grabbing at the back of my neck.

"Contract or not, if this is all you can do, you may as well fuck off."

I smiled up at him, thinking I must look as ridiculous as I feel. But if he wanted a challenge he could have one. I pushed my glasses up a little out of the way and snaked one hand under his shirt, finding the muscle there already tense and the skin scorching hot. Seeing the evidence of his enjoyment encouraged me, and with my other hand I deftly freed his erection from the damp clothing.

He remained as impassive as possible when I swallowed him, but the hand at the back of my head never let go. It was a clumsy attempt to begin with. The girls I had been with were too nice to offer this kind of act, and I had not been with enough men to experiment. Imitating what I could do with my hands and applying pressure at the tip proved the right course of action. His chest heaved when it reached the back of my throat and a long sigh escaped him. Sparks of pleasurable pain travelled from where he was pulling my hair down my spine, leaving me stunned. I look up and found his head tipped back, his dark hair damped by sweat and splayed in a messy halo. For a second I forgot what I was doing, and gagged slightly when his prick gave out a little spurt of salty liquid. The prospect of Richard spending in my mouth was overwhelming, but I wanted more that night. I wanted it to last.

He swore in impatience as I eased him out and practically pushed my face into his groin. Prepared, I went with it and took his testicles into my mouth one at a time. It was something I could get used to, for my greed at seeing him writhe and gasp was greatly satisfied. A reward that was worth all the running and climbing in the dark a few hours before. It was like he couldn't stop his hips from twitching and jolting. I had to move back a little every now and then to prevent from being poked in the eye.

Up until now he had held onto a semblance of control, whether it was the hand at the back of my head or the commanding attitude. When I pulled back, he was quick to complain. I could see the words forming at his lips before being cut off by my kiss. My ferocity caught both of us unexpected. An instinctual hunger surged up from inside me and propelled me to crowd him against the backrest. Like a starved man, I devoured all that was available to me: lips, teeth and tongue until he struggled to breathe from under my weight and pushed me off.

"Fuck! Think about where your mouth have been." He wiped at his bitten lips, panting. I only smiled. He had unbuttoned his shirt sometime earlier to provide better access for my exploring hands. Later, that naked need in his eyes would prove the downfall of the superman. I can see it clearly even now, a chink in his armour of cynicism and indifference. It still makes my heart ache and quicken at the same time that he would shed it so easily for me.

But I had submitted to his every wish while carrying out his half of the contract. It was only fair that, while fulfilling mine, our roles should be reversed. I stretched out a hand wordlessly. He looked up but did not take it, so I turned and walked to his bed. Behind me, I could hear the rest of his clothing landing on the floor. Soon strong arms reached around me to free me from my waistcoat and trousers. Only the thin fabric of my shirt separated his bare chest and my back. His body heat, which was usually a distant, unreachable warmth, was now a blazing fire pressed right against me. I was prepared to either burn or melt. He let me turn around and stretches of his skin were suddenly exposed to me. The sharp lines of his clavicle were no longer a mere tantalising suggestion. I was overwhelmed. I couldn't stop myself from laying a hand on his pectorals, squeezing lightly to feel the passion hidden beneath. This was the compact, sturdy body that I thought would outlive me. This was the man who I thought would cling onto life out of sheer stubbornness. I kissed him again, and felt my soul being sucked forth by his lips. The next second, I was on my back. He climbed on top of me, and smirked at my wince when my head hit the headboard. I gently snaked my arms around him and bit down hard on his throat. He jerked and hissed, then tore me off to slap me forcefully across the face. I smiled in response and took off my glasses. The frame was already slightly bent under the force of his anger. Didn't something always end up broken when Richard and I got together?

He didn't take my finger easily. It emboldened me to think that he had yielded to no one but me. The second finger barely went in with the aid of some ointment and his thighs were trembling already. His brows were knitted in strain. I tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear with my other hand and absent-mindedly went on to caress his lips. He growled in impatience and bit at my thumb when I got distracted by a drop of sweat traveling down his chin and onto my chest. The sting startled me and in playful revenge I pressed deeper inside him. His arms gave out when I hit a spot and the weight of his torso collapsed onto me. His face was buried in my shoulder and his back was arched, exposing his backside high in the air. The vulnerability in his pose seemed to have uncovered something within me, and I smacked down hard at the back of his firm thighs. When his groans jumped an octave and were spilling out freely, I repeated the motion and was transfixed as Richard breathed right next to my ear: "Fuck me, Babe."

I mounted Richard like an animal, with him on all fours and me kneeling behind him, on top of him. I could feel his shoulders flex to accommodate my weight and his insides flex to accommodate my width. With one fingertip I pressed lightly where I was fully seated within him. He shied away at the overstimulation at first, but soon started pushing back for more. He might have flirted around with lots of women, but this was something that only I could give him, the opportunity to place himself completely under the control of another without ever needing to worry.

When I started moving, he jolted so violently that I was almost thrown off. It was like trying to tame a wild horse. I shifted to plant a kiss at the back of his neck but did not slow. After all, I did promise that I would give him everything. I savoured all the little indications of his desire. He was responsive and reacted to my every movement. Agitated and choked-off moans as I breached him in quick, shallow thrusts. A full body shudder when we found a slower but more rewarding rhythm that allowed me to reach deeper. I buried my nose in his hair and laid a hand on his cock, feeling him tense all over. The lean muscles on his back rippled and he turned around, glaring at me with red-rimmed eyes. They burnt with such fierceness that he looked the more beautiful because of it. In that split second I could see what life promised if Richard and I could just stick with each other. I could see our names written side by side: Leopold and Loeb, an entity that stops having meaning when either is missing. I could see us leading a truly superior life, inseparable and invincible. What I failed to see was that Dick could never truly devote himself to anyone, not even to me. So I tried to make him understand, and thought I had succeeded that night when he gave himself to me. But I didn't know that this defect of his was not something I could cure.

He pushed us up, so we were still pressed front to back, but kneeling in a position where the balance was shared between the two. I placed one hand on his hip and the other around the front on his abdomen, trapping him in a hug. He reached behind to grab at my buttocks, his nails digging into my flesh. It was not the easiest way to do it, but hardly anything had been easy between us. My thighs and hips worked to push him forward, but my arms and shoulders strained to pull him closer. He covered my hand with a sweaty palm and I nuzzled at his cheek, feeling the stubble there prickle my nose. "Come on," he said, with a rare note of bashfulness, "it's not like I'm going to break."

Soon, we were both pushed to our limits, but neither were willing to back down. It was like being swept up by a tornado and hanging on for dear life, not wanting the moment to go. The thrill from being with him was better than any drug or booze I could ever find for myself, and I knew he felt the same. A blood-red mark had blossomed on his white neck, bared and begging to be touched every time he tipped his head back in a moment of pure bliss. It was the proof for our pact of mutual sacrifice. A wound for a lifetime's guarantee. I pressed down there with three fingers, willing the red to go deeper than skin, into the throat and imprint itself on Richard's very core. His pupils were suddenly blown so wide that the brown irises were almost all swallowed up. At the next thrust, he was coming uncontrollably and messily. I fucked him through it, watching a squirt of his seed spilling out every time I so much as grazed his prostate. All this time, my arms were wound tightly around him, so not a single shudder, vibration or sigh went unnoticed. All my senses were spontaneously dialled high, all focused on committing Richard at this very moment to memory.

Finally, I couldn't hold us upright anymore. Still joined, we tipped backwards onto the mattress. I didn't let go of him, somehow rejoiced at the feeling of his solid weight forcing air out of my lungs. We laid there, not bothering to move for a while, just because we could. It was the familiar feeling of coming down from an adrenaline high: limbs heavy and unresponsive, mind fuzzy and unfocused. In the end, Richard carefully rolled to his side, sucking in a breath when my still-hard prick slid out of him. After orgasm, he took on the casual, lazy seductiveness of a feline. He took his time stretching, then turned to face me and draped himself over my arm. "Oh." I barely had energy to whisper in surprise when a warm hand snaked up the inside of my thighs.

His movements were slow and careless, unhurried as if he couldn't bother to put his heart in it, but the smugness on his face never failed to tell me how much he was enjoying being a tease. I couldn't take my eyes off him, entranced by the brief fluttering of his lashes and the bitten lips. His eyes were downcast, half-lidded and focused on his grip on my prick. Occasionally they would flicker up to meet mine, before quickly moving away again, like an irreverent pigeon taking its rest on any tree or rooftop. A great surge of sadness overwhelmed me. A devastating sense of helplessness that made me incapable of thinking about anything other than how sooner or later I would lose this, lose him. It was inevitable, this I knew before it started but had no idea how to prevent it.

I turned my face away, so that if he saw anything in my eyes, or worse, if I saw something in his, we could at least pretend that it went unnoticed. To him, it was still a game of predator and prey, a game to outlast the other. Though he had been my prey that night, neither of us realised that it didn't mean I had his loyalty. It would take both of us to trust ourselves completely with the other, willingly, to truly seal the bond. Otherwise it was still a useless piece of paper that could be torn up anytime. The problem was, I wasn't ready to do so unless he was. The fault in our perfect plan was never the typewriter or the birthmark. It wasn't even my glasses. It was us.

I came silently that night. On my lips was a name that I didn't dare utter, until twelve years later, alone in a cold, damp cell.

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as a piece of smut but ended up being much longer and much more angsty than I originally planned. Thanks to the brilliant Chinese cast of Thrill Me for being my inspiration. This fic is largely based on the dynamics between 孙豆尔's portrayal of Nathan and 刘令飞's portrayal of Richard in the musical rather than the historical figures. I apologise for any mistakes in grammar or spelling.


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